A brief note on inclusivity:

In this article, I will be talking about the typical wedding attire I encounter most often when working with my clients. I will be referring to this as a “wedding dress,” but the principles I discuss here will most likely apply to any garment you wore during a ceremony of significance in your life. This could be a robe, a suit, or another garment traditionally worn by your culture. My clientele mostly struggle with decision-making around their wedding dresses, and because that’s what I know and have the most experience with, that is what I will talk about here. But please know that the techniques I present here will likely apply to any garment of significant cultural, familial, or religious significance that you may have worn as part of a ceremony, and I mean no exclusion by referring only to wedding dresses.

My personal story.

I know I am probably an outlier because I tend not to form emotional attachments to objects, but I’m including my story here in case it makes your decision on what to do with your dress easier in some way. I was never the kind of girl who dreamed about my wedding because I didn’t like events where I was the center of attention. On top of that, I’m estranged from part of my family and I’m not religious. My partner and I eloped in a tiny oceanside ceremony over a weekend while I was in law school. I bought my dress off the rack at a bridal store. I loved it! It made me feel beautiful and my photos of my partner and I on the beach at sunset were gorgeous. I have wonderful memories of the day. When I came home to my law school apartment after getting married, I tossed the dress over the back of a chair and the next weekend, I took it to Goodwill and donated it. I felt really good about that because I knew the dress was a current style that was likely to be exactly what somebody was looking for, and I hoped it would help somebody with fewer resources than me. The things I kept from that day are the seashell headband I wore and a small vial of sand from the beach. I keep these in my memory box.

Everyone is going to have different feelings about their dress and the events and memories surrounding it. As an organizer, it’s my job to meet you where you are emotionally with your decision, help you decide by asking questions and making suggestions, and then helping you implement your choices. We will consider the amount of space you have, the stage of life you are in, your future plans, and whether letting go of the dress will help you meet your goals.

Is your dress causing a problem?

Your wedding dress is a possession of intense emotional value. You may have spent a small fortune on it, had it custom made, or it may have belonged to a dear relative. But wedding dresses take up a lot of room, usually precious closet real estate. Your dress may take up the same amount of space as 15 or even 20 regular hangers, especially if you had a large train or full skirt.

Because your dress is so imbued with energy, it is likely taking up emotional space as well. Maybe you are divorced or widowed. Maybe the dress represented an ideal of marriage that didn’t become reality for you. Ask yourself, “Is keeping my dress preventing me from moving forward?” How do you feel when you look at it? Joy? Happiness? Delight? Pain? Sorrow? Loss? Regret? Consider the emotional space you might free up by letting your dress go.

Preservation

If your dress isn’t causing you a problem, you can check out The Knot’s dress preservation guide. They recommend you work with a professional wedding dress preserver because there is a science to the process to make sure your garment doesn’t deteriorate. They don’t recommend leaving your dress on the hanger because this will stretch and distort the fabric over time. Have your dress professionally cleaned because sweat and body oils will oxidize over time and can yellow or even brown your garment. There are special containers designed specifically for wedding dress preservation you might consider purchasing, and your dress should be kept in a climate-controlled environment, not an attic, basement, or garage.

Donating your dress

Gifting your dress to a charity is a beautiful and generous act. You will have given someone a chance to look and feel as beautiful as you did on your big day. You could make another bride’s dreams come true with your donation. Here are some organizations to consider when donating your dress:

Goodwill, The Salvation Army, or your local thrift store will most likely accept your dress happily if it’s in good condition. I know there is a bride somewhere walking into a Goodwill store right now hoping to find a dress just like yours.
Brides Against Breast Cancer raises money by selling donated dresses
NICU Helping Hands accepts donated dresses to make “Angel Gowns” for bereaved families who have lost an infant.
Brides Across America gifts wedding dresses and weddings to military and first responders (gowns must be less than 4 years old)

Repurposing your dress

People are so creative. When I first started researching how to repurpose a wedding dress, I was astonished at the wealth of ideas and services available. Here are some of my favorites and why I love them.

Etsy store Jem Design offers all kinds of custom wedding items made from your wedding dress.

A wedding item for a future relative’s wedding. I love this idea so much because it gives your niece, daughter, or granddaughter a small object to incorporate into her wedding and still leaves her the ability to choose her own dress and design her wedding how she wants. You may have dreams of your younger relative wearing your dress, but she may have other plans. Passing on a small wedding object strikes the perfect balance between family tradition and respecting individuality and choices. Here are some ideas:
1. Bouquet wrap
2. Ring bearer’s pillow
3. Garter
4. Bridal clutch purse (they can also make a clutch purse out of a tie or suit material)
5. Wedding handkerchief (great for the groom)
A personal memento. Maybe passing something down to be used in future family weddings isn’t important to you, but you do want to hold onto a small keepsake from your dress. Here are some practical and beautiful objects to consider:
1. Ring or pendant from your dress’ lace (a second option here)
2. Teddy bear
3. Christmas tree ornament (another option here)
4. Decorative pillow
5. Memory quilt
A self-care item. Keep the memory of your wedding accessible every time you give yourself a spa day. Here are some ideas you could ask your tailor about:
1. Satin robe (this is such a great idea!)
2. Eye pillow
3. Satin pillowcase
4. Satin hair wrap or sleep bonnet
A new dress. You can shorten the skirt, dye the fabric, or completely change the look and feel of the gown giving yourself something more versatile to enjoy for other special occasions.
Baby attire or items. This seems to be a popular option! Baby blankets, christening gowns, and booties can all be made out of your dress. Here are some options I found:

Etsy Store DollBaby Designs makes beautiful baby attire out of your wedding dress.

Selling your dress

Selling garments is not usually something I recommend to my clients because they are way too busy to go through with it. If they do sell, they are never thrilled with the amount of money they get. The idea of selling something to recoup its value never quite balances out with the time and energy it costs to make that sale happen. I’ve also seen clients say “I’m going to sell that” as a way to delay making a difficult decision. I encourage you to do the hard work now while you have the benefit of working with a professional. Process the emotions and come to a decision in the present instead of putting it off for another day when it won’t necessarily be any easier. That being said, if selling your dress feels like the right move for you and you have the time and energy to ship it to a consignment outlet, then here are some dress resellers that might be able to assist you:

Something Borrowed rents bridal gowns and pays you a commission every time your dress is rented. You retain ownership of the dress and can get it back anytime.
Still White is a bridal marketplace that pairs dress sellers with buyers.
Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses is an online listing service that charges listing fees for sellers and collects a commission like eBay.
Nearly Newlywed is another online marketplace that pairs sellers and buyers of wedding dresses.

There you have it! Those are my ideas to help you let go, repurpose, donate, or preserve your wedding dress. I hope this has been helpful and whatever you decide to do with your dress, make sure it is serving you, bringing you joy, and helping you meet your goals. Be calm. Be organized. Be you.

What to do with your wedding dress